Cold Turkey edition by Larry Buege Literature Fiction eBooks
Download As PDF : Cold Turkey edition by Larry Buege Literature Fiction eBooks 
Times were good for the man in the Oval Office until three student radicals from Finlandia University and one resident nerd from Michigan Tech seek his support in making Michigan’s Upper Peninsula the fifty-first state. They give the President an ultimatum to support their cause or the Yoopers (as the U.P. residents refer to themselves) will throw the coming election. When the President refuses, they hijack a truckload of his turkeys from the Western White House. The truck driver is stripped naked, drenched in molasses, and covered with feathers. The newspapers have a field day at the President’s expense, while the truck driver makes the talk-show rounds.
To make matters worse, the White House plumbing mysteriously refuses to function, Washington D.C. becomes infested with Amorous Spotted Slugs, and twelve hundred of the abducted turkeys find their way to the White House lawn where they trip numerous security sensors and simulate a massive White House assault. Still the President refuses to capitulate. (Pharaoh needed ten plagues.)
The final straw occurs when the President receives irrefutable evidence from the CIA that Finland has Weapons of Mass Destruction and intends to turn the Upper Peninsula into a Finnish colony. He has no alternative—he must declare war on the U.P.!
Cold Turkey edition by Larry Buege Literature Fiction eBooks
This book review was first published in the Marquette Monthly July 2013 issue and was written by me. I am reprinting it here with permission from the publisher:First, let me make it clear that Larry Buege claims he did not write this book, other than the Prologue, which explains how he acquired the manuscript that makes up the body of the book. Larry was out driving one night when he ran over an Amorous Spotted Slug (A.S.S.). The slug was dead, but Larry was able to save the manuscript carried by the slug and print it. Note, the A.S.S. is currently up for state slug (visit [...] for more information--you recently may have seen Larry in his slug costume trying to get people to sign the state slug petition in downtown Marquette).
Maybe by now you're thinking this book sounds weird. That's what I thought too, but it's weird in a good way. Any true Yooper is going to love this book--after all, it advocates for that long-held dream dear to all true Yooper hearts--U.P. statehood.
The real story here is about the war the President of the United States unjustifiably--and foolishly I might add--wages upon the U.P. as the result of some students at Finlandia University and Michigan Tech trying to get support for U.P. statehood. When President Schroeder refuses to give in to their demands for U.P. statehood, he finds that a truckload of turkeys from his Texas ranch have been kidnapped and delivered to the White House, resulting in just one of several catastrophic events for the president, others including the White House plumbing being backed up, claims that property in Washington D.C. is inhabited by the A.S.S. so that a school for blind paraplegics cannot be built there, and finally, the discovery that U.P. residents must have invented a weapon of mass destruction they call "sisu," which the president and his staff believe is an acronym for Sensory Inhibiting Satellite Unit. In other words, it messes with people's minds, making them behave irrationally.
Soon the president orders a preemptive strike against the U.P. and he also calls in Agent X to investigate further. It's believed the real issue isn't U.P. statehood but that Finland is planning to make the U.P. a Finnish colony. Plenty of evidence for this theory exists, including when Agent X discovers there's a TV show called Finland Calling, largely in Finnish, which must be broadcasting information to the U.S.'s enemies.
I wish I could tell you all about the war that results. Even Eino and Toivo have to get involved before it ends. But to say much more would be to give away everything in this hilarious book that had me laughing out loud many times. Yoopers may not really have a Sensory Inhibiting Satellite Unit, but they definitely have sisu the way they take on the U.S. Army during this war.
To get a taste of the book's humor, here are a few funny passages. The First Lady herself takes up the cause for the amorous spotted slug, explaining its origins to the media: "I recently talked with Toivo Rantamaki, Professor Emeritus of Finlandia University, on the phone...Professor Rantamaki believes they originated in the Amazon Jungle and migrated to Michigan's Upper Peninsula on drifting coconuts during the Great Biblical Flood. As you know, the unicorns were less fortunate."
My favorite character was the mysterious Agent X. When it is first suggested to the president that Agent X help with the investigation, it is explained that no one has his phone number so contacting him is a bit tricky: "Last time they put the request in a capsule with a radio transmitter and then stuffed it down the throat of a twenty-four foot anaconda. They turned the snake loose in the Amazon jungle. Agent X checked-in four hours later."
Larry Buege has many more books to come. He's sure to have won fans with this book, so I hope he doesn't keep readers waiting long for the next one.
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Cold Turkey edition by Larry Buege Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
This is a wonderful book of comedy with laughs on every page. I know how difficult it can be for humor to transfer from one reader to another. God knows how often people have said to me "Read this, it'll crack you up" and I find myself staring blankly at the pages scratching my head, waiting to be amused. Yes, I know, but this one is different. I'm Irish, I know very little about life and the culture in USA, and yet the humor in this book reached me and made me laugh - out loud. Not many books can do that for me.
Five stars. Highly recommended, but be warned, the only serious aspect to this book is its satirical look at life in USA, the US military, the inhabitants of the Upper Peninsula, US presidents, and turkey farmers generally.
JJ Toner
This book review was first published in the Marquette Monthly July 2013 issue and was written by me. I am reprinting it here with permission from the publisher
First, let me make it clear that Larry Buege claims he did not write this book, other than the Prologue, which explains how he acquired the manuscript that makes up the body of the book. Larry was out driving one night when he ran over an Amorous Spotted Slug (A.S.S.). The slug was dead, but Larry was able to save the manuscript carried by the slug and print it. Note, the A.S.S. is currently up for state slug (visit [...] for more information--you recently may have seen Larry in his slug costume trying to get people to sign the state slug petition in downtown Marquette).
Maybe by now you're thinking this book sounds weird. That's what I thought too, but it's weird in a good way. Any true Yooper is going to love this book--after all, it advocates for that long-held dream dear to all true Yooper hearts--U.P. statehood.
The real story here is about the war the President of the United States unjustifiably--and foolishly I might add--wages upon the U.P. as the result of some students at Finlandia University and Michigan Tech trying to get support for U.P. statehood. When President Schroeder refuses to give in to their demands for U.P. statehood, he finds that a truckload of turkeys from his Texas ranch have been kidnapped and delivered to the White House, resulting in just one of several catastrophic events for the president, others including the White House plumbing being backed up, claims that property in Washington D.C. is inhabited by the A.S.S. so that a school for blind paraplegics cannot be built there, and finally, the discovery that U.P. residents must have invented a weapon of mass destruction they call "sisu," which the president and his staff believe is an acronym for Sensory Inhibiting Satellite Unit. In other words, it messes with people's minds, making them behave irrationally.
Soon the president orders a preemptive strike against the U.P. and he also calls in Agent X to investigate further. It's believed the real issue isn't U.P. statehood but that Finland is planning to make the U.P. a Finnish colony. Plenty of evidence for this theory exists, including when Agent X discovers there's a TV show called Finland Calling, largely in Finnish, which must be broadcasting information to the U.S.'s enemies.
I wish I could tell you all about the war that results. Even Eino and Toivo have to get involved before it ends. But to say much more would be to give away everything in this hilarious book that had me laughing out loud many times. Yoopers may not really have a Sensory Inhibiting Satellite Unit, but they definitely have sisu the way they take on the U.S. Army during this war.
To get a taste of the book's humor, here are a few funny passages. The First Lady herself takes up the cause for the amorous spotted slug, explaining its origins to the media "I recently talked with Toivo Rantamaki, Professor Emeritus of Finlandia University, on the phone...Professor Rantamaki believes they originated in the Jungle and migrated to Michigan's Upper Peninsula on drifting coconuts during the Great Biblical Flood. As you know, the unicorns were less fortunate."
My favorite character was the mysterious Agent X. When it is first suggested to the president that Agent X help with the investigation, it is explained that no one has his phone number so contacting him is a bit tricky "Last time they put the request in a capsule with a radio transmitter and then stuffed it down the throat of a twenty-four foot anaconda. They turned the snake loose in the jungle. Agent X checked-in four hours later."
Larry Buege has many more books to come. He's sure to have won fans with this book, so I hope he doesn't keep readers waiting long for the next one.
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